My Style Is Your Substance
by The Stupendous Jimbo
Summary: Link finds out that his "quest" to save the Princess Zelda was a trick designed not only to force the two into marriage, but also make him the laughing stock of the whole entire kingdom of Hyrule.


**My Style Is Your Substance**

_The truth behind human failure is not as convoluted as its perceived reputation, but carefully hidden in an enigma wrapped behind a riddle. To unlock such a tantalizing conundrum I must break down the chambers of logic and destroy the fallacy of our nature. Only through that will we no longer fail as an insufficient species, but achieve greatness through the bounds of our constitution, and forevermore extend it beyond the foundation of our incapacitated endeavor. Only then, will we truly unlock the mystery of the Logical Fallacy…_

Epic…It was the only word he could think of to describe his masterpiece. After carefully observing his peers for the longest time, he knew this work of art was destined to change the world as he knew it, but one thing was missing: A title. After carefully reading the introduction, he decided to stick with the first word that popped up in his mind. _Hmm…If I was a loudmouth that never shuts up, how would I describe this?_ Carefully stroking beneath his chin with his fingers, he rummaged through his head for a word that would truly bring out the full capabilities of his piece. Approximately two seconds into digging, the door in his room suddenly swung open as a young woman in a pink dress ran in. "Link!"

He flinched as he watched with mortified horror, his glorious thoughts slowly evaporating into an empty abyss. "Link, I lost it!"

Speaking of loudmouths, he turned to Zelda and thought for a moment. _Why did I wish for a loudmouth? Oh Nayru help me…_

"I lost my Triforce," she wailed. _I wanted an intelligent loudmouth…_ "Oh where could my Triforce be?"

He knew from the moment King Daphnese eagerly wedded the two and paid for a one month vacation at the Nintendo Resort that something was odd. It was indeed fashionable for kings to marry their daughters off to the hero that saves them, but something didn't seem quite right. Of course one would think after seeing your arch nemesis walk away from the very same king with a giant bag of rupees that something was wrong. After all, the last time he reviewed the laws it was clearly stated that any assailants that assault the princess of Hyrule in any way, shape, or form, was instantly sentenced to death and/or sent to the Forbidden Realm for all eternity.

He also figured something had gone awry when he opened the local Kakariko Newspaper to see his face on the front page with the article titled, "Hero of Time Iquals World Class Sucker!" At first he wondered why in the world he had suddenly become the laughing stock of the small village, but after the third day of being married, the answer became quite clear. Now he was stuck being beleaguered by a group of illiterate morons who couldn't even spell the word "equals", while his arch nemesis was two hallways down laughing about the fake traps he set up for the boy while spending his hard earned cash on overpriced milk.

"Don't look at me like that! You don't understand!" Her tantrum had suddenly escalated to a full barrage of Moblins. "Without my Triforce I'm powerless!"

_How is it that this girl wields the Triforce of Wisdom? _She started tearing the room apart, _again, _in a desperate attempt to locate her birth right. He would normally take the opportunity to stop her and point to the back of her hand, but every time he saw the back of anyone's hand, he was forced to resist the temptation of slamming it across her face, because the laws of Hyrule bestows quarter to nobody. Apparently the hand of the Law is mightier than the Hand of Reasoning, as he would call it every time he fantasized the grand inquisition, starring the mighty hero: Sergeant Slap-a-hoe. _Mr. Daphnese suuure pulled a fast one, that he did…_

Unfortunately his "prized possession" discovered the local Tattoo Parlor right across the streets, which in his opinion, had no problem attracting customers like a bug zapper. As he watched the excited princess bolt towards the lit up building, he prayed to Din that his eyes were mistaken and the parlor was indeed a bug zapper. That night he cursed the goddess for appealing to her needs. That night, he decided to pray to Nayru instead, because Din was now officially a sexist bitch.

Zelda had decided that the more triangles she had on her body, the better, so she ended up spending half of the royal fortune having extremely detailed hieroglyphics of their adventure carved all over her skin. Now every time he pointed the Triforce out to her, she mistook it as a piece of the story he wanted her to share with him.

"Check under the bed!"

Of all the tasks he was given, of all the orders he obeyed, of all the ordeals he had gone through, trials he had conquered, adversaries he had vanquished, the one escapade he feared most of all was the journey to the underworld found beneath the bed. The gates of hell hath no fury like the contents store within the darkened void which was their bed. Reason being that the moment they got married was the moment the king gladly ordered half of the princess' prized possessions chauffeured out of her room so the happy couple could live a peaceful, humble life; at least that's the excuse he gave him. While the obstacle of her possessions were hard enough to negotiate, that man had the _balls _to warn him of precarious hazards which would haunt him for the rest of his life.

"_Link, she's quite a catch, I'll give ya that," the king said as he pat the flushed boy on the back, "but I gotta warn ya: she's a wild one." He looked up at him in a confused manner as in he didn't understand. "I take it from the expression on your face you need some clarification…Well, all I can say is beware of what you find under the bed…"_

That day, his pure mind had become scathed by the tainted words beseeched upon him. That day, he discovered he could never wield the blade of evil's bane ever again. _I just don't understand. How is it that my sharpened instincts would pierce the most elusive traps set up by the deadliest man in the world, yet I didn't see this coming?_

After carefully going through the decision process, he decided it was best to obey her demands. After all the Laws of Hyrule clearly states that any individual that dares defy the orders of the princess, no matter how ludicrous the request shall be severely punished without scrutiny. _Oh let's annex the local Nintendo Resort, that should keep the boy in line and the girl out of my hair! THANKS A LOT YOU ASSHOLE! _Upon ducking down and pulling the hung covers, he carefully observed a radiating glow in the form of cat-like eyes. _I knew there was a demon under there…I feel your pain, you poor, trapped, soul…Don't worry, I'll rescue you one day…_

"So did you find it?" Her voice transcended from panic to hope. He decided the best form of action was to give her the benefit of the doubt and point to the pair of glowing eyes. _No victory shall be easily attainable like the element of surprise…It's all on you, my friend from beneath._ She quickly jumped down and poked her head beneath the bed. Suddenly, she cried out as the beast hissed at her. The princess quickly jumped out and began squeezing the life out of her foreign assailant...Which turned out to be a cat. He looked down at the floor from which the grey tabby had been dragged out of. _Are those…Scratch marks? _He looked up at the delighted princess, who seemed to have completely forgotten about her Triforce. "Oh Link! You shouldn't have!" _I know…Oh Nayru please spare the poor thing…_ "It's so cuuuute!" _You would think the owners of this place would charge a security deposit for the damage the cat caused. _One would hope, but unfortunately for him vandalism was quite popular, and insured. He figured the owners would want more damage done so they would have a bigger insurance rate.

"Oh it is the greatest thing EVER! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOUUUU!" She swiftly threw the cat aside, ignoring the sudden yelp as it slammed against the wall, and wrapped her arms around her next victim. He had trained hard for such moments when he'd be bound by his attackers, but never had he fathomed it to be the next case of domestic violence. His only reaction was to take the abuse and return the favor with less animosity. Despite the decimation of a good three years of his lifespan, he had learned to hearken unto these moments of romantic expression. _If only she had a less violent way of expressing her love to me…_ Upon realizing his face had matched his water tunic she quickly released him, allowing him to desperately gasp for air. "Why didn't you say anything?" He looked over at the immobile feline and sighed. _Rest in peace, o' citizen of the dark abyss…_

He looked up and smiled innocently. It was always in good taste to give her the benefit of the doubt and allow her to believe he couldn't be happier. He wasn't afraid of her getting angry, or being torn apart, but he didn't want her to think he didn't love her anymore. It was beyond anything like reason to explain his serene affection for her, but after multiple debates with himself he decided it was a fallacy and he was only justifying his impractical nature through insipid delusions of unprecedented love, when in reality it was fear. Fear that he'd end up like the other five hundred and sixty two suitable knights who failed the trial of the archangel –aptly named by the fact it would take one to survive the bosom of Hyrule's "most desired". But still he couldn't help but dwell in the ambiguity of his perplexed trepidations, and perhaps he did have some feelings for her. After all, he _did_ risk his life to save her. _Oh wait, it was all a set up..._ Ever since he realized he'd been had, he continuously wondered if his life was ever truly in danger. Of course it was, _now_, but even though he pledged fealty to a ticking bomb-chu (named because she was just sooo adorable when made happy), he was still pleasantly surprised by the moderate sense of adventure he'd have every time she decided to drag him into another one of her misadventures…His theory was that she missed the days of being kidnapped…He would also wonder if she was in on it, but chances were unlikely.

After she spent nearly five minutes poking the cat, which seemed to be sleeping a liiitle too soundly for his taste, he figured she'd never be in on such an intangible scheme. "Aww…And I was gonna name him Mr. Frisky…You know, as in the brand of cat food…" _Oh loving Nayru I knew you would never fail me! Praise be to she who shares my concern for those who fall under her wicked clutches! Now if only you could save me… _"Oh I know! We can get another one!" _Thanks traitor…Well two goddesses down, one more to go…Oh Farore, enlighten me to your holy judgment and cast away evil entities as you shield me in a veil of light and surround me by your love…Oh wait, that's Nayru's job…Farore only helps me run away from du…n...geons…wait a second….FARORE'S WIND!_

With a singe of excitement, he quickly ran across the room and rapidly dug through his possessions, desperately searching for the forest green crystal. _You may be a useless green crystal to the naked eye but to the true believers such as I, you are a radiating light of hope! _Suddenly, as if on cue, the familiar jingle heard from the background played as he gripped a warm, bulky object. It was the jingle he heard every time he wandered upon something majestic, something wondrous, something which posed as his last ray of hope. Upon digging it out, the muffled jingle grew louder and crisper as he excitedly held it up in the air. To his macabre dismay, the jingle had emitted not from his gift from the goddess, but his gift from his step father. "Oh Link; I see you found your cell phone! I made that ring tone just for you, so every time you hear it, you're reminded of the treasures you found on your valiant journey to rescue your beloved damsel in distress. _CURSE YOU TECHNOLOGY!_

"Are you ready to go, love?" _Oh great Farore, I am in great need of your strong winds of courage to help me courageously flee from this horrendous institution!_ She turned and ran out of the room. Shaking his head in disbelief, he reluctantly followed her out of the room, through the hotel, and past the milk bar, where Ganondorf was still laughing about the one where he hired this concubine off the streets to pose as a Sheikah so they could convince the sucker he was actually on an adventure. "Oh and get this, he actually believed there was such a thing as a Sheikah!" The room erupted in intense laughter as he continued. "Oh and this whole Sheik to Zelda thing, he actually believed she was still in my 'evil clutches' despite how she escaped me! And he actually believed the blonde had the ability to change the color of her eyes with magic!" He noticed half the locals in the bar falling off of their chairs, only feeling the pain of their sides cramping up from all the laughter. "How did you pull off the eye trick?" One of the locals asked. He snickered as he raised his arms in excitement in an act to silence the bar. "Okay, okay, you'll love this…This whole magical act was just CONTACTS!" Everybody in the bar had suddenly become constrained to the marble floor as the citizens had started rolling around everywhere.

"Sounds like they're having a lot of fun in there," Zelda said with a wink. _Just kill me… _"Oh don't worry Link, they may be having fun, but the _real_ fun begins tonight! Now if only we had someone to play the role of Ganondorf…" _Farore for the sake of the Triforce just end my life now! _"Hey that man in there looks a lot like him! Perhaps he can play the part!" _Farore what's taking so long? _"How about we go ask him?" _CURSE YOU GODDESSES! _She quickly turned to walk into the bar, but was suddenly flung back by his grip. She giggled as she turned to him. "I was only kidding dear; I'm not sharing you with anybody." _Did you say that to the other five hundred and sixty two suitors?_ "Now come on, let's go before those slobs get drunk with self indulgence!" _Come on, I just want one, that's all I ask!_

The two continued to make their way across the resort, holding hands like a couple whom were actually in love. She snickered at all the passerby's who stopped to compliment how adorable the two looked together. "Oh Link, can you believe these people are actually jealous of us? It makes me sad that they can't be happy like we are." _Farore, where's that fatal wind I asked for? _"Oh I know, let's have babies!" _FARORE! _"Oh Link, we should have a son! _Yeah, only if you want to produce a physically deformed freak that would most likely star in a children's fighting game… _"Oh Link, it'll be fun, all you have to do is-" He instantly threw his hand over her mouth as the two abruptly ceased movements. _Do NOT explain the process of baby making to me! _"Okay, okay, chill…You know, you really don't talk a lot…" _That's because you do all the talking for me._

She grabbed hold of the hand he used to stop her and gently cradled it back and forth. "Oh Link, wouldn't it be magical to have a son? We could spend endless nights telling him how my knight in shining armor rescued me from the clutches of evil." _I could have sworn I wore green to that battle. _She sighed as she looked up at him. "Also you're heir to the throne. That means you'll need a prince to continue his father's legacy of saving the magical land of Hyrule." _Knowing my luck the poor kid would be stuck in a flooded world, traversing the perils of the endless ocean via an annoying, talking boat…_

The princess suddenly reached into her dress pocket and pulled out a small, crumbled, piece of paper. "Oh by the way, I found this on top of your desk…You were writing this…" She handed it to him. He opened it to discover it was his essay he had begun writing just moments before she stormed into the room. "For a quiet guy, you sure are insightful." _Wait a second…What do you mean by "insightful"?_

"To be honest I don't understand a word of it." _That's because unlike you, I actually allow myself time to think. _"I must admit, Link, your penmanship is truly mesmerizing…I didn't know you could write so well." _Now let's see what you can do…"_

"So…What is this 'logical fallacy' thing you were writing about?" He sighed as he gently nudged the paper aside, shaking his head. "Oh come on, just write it down!" He shook his head once more until the empty space in his grip had been replaced by a small quill. _So let me get this straight…You went out of your way to spend your royal fortune on this technological equipment such as a cell phone, yet you insist I write with a quill dipped in ink? _She snickered. "Oh don't worry, it's a magical quill. The ink instantly scribes itself unto the paper." _It sounds just as magical as your keen ability to change the color of your eyes._

With a sigh, he took the quill and sat down at a nearby table, to continue his masterpiece.

_In logic and rhetoric, a fallacy is a misconception resulting from incorrect reasoning in argumentation. By accident or design, fallacies may exploit emotional triggers in the listener or interlocutor, or take advantage of social relationships between people. Fallacious arguments are often structured using rhetorical patterns that obscure the logical argument, making fallacies more difficult to diagnose. Also, the components of the fallacy may be spread out over separate arguments._

He resisted the temptation of writing the words _take our marriage for example…_ to the side of it. She reviewed the words and promptly wrapped her hands around her chin. _Figures you wouldn't understand…_ She then snapped her fingers. "Oh! So you're saying that when ever somebody's argument is based off of a flawed premise the whole argument itself is completely void!"

He instantly dropped the quill as his jaws slacked to match his expression of shock, and astonishment. _Who are you and what have you done with my wife? _"See it's not that hard to understand." _Oh really, let's see if you truly understand… _He licked his lips as he picked up the quill and went back to his paper.

_Take the following indicative conditional: A or B? To be concluded that one logical disjunction must be false because the other disjunct is true would be affirming the existence of a disjunct I.E: A; therefore not B, and thus a fallacy. But what if one were to conclude the following proposition: If A, then B; B, therefore A? With that logic, that would be concluding that the antecedent in an indicative conditional is claimed to be true because the consequent is true, and thus, creating the fallacy__ of affirming the consequent. Now if the consequent in an indicative conditional is claimed to be false because the antecedent is false, I.E: If A, then B; not A, therefore not B, then the denial of the antecedent would be committing a fallacy as well. In order to compose faultless logic and truly structuralize rationality, the disposition of such measures must ultimately lead to the distinction between abstract and concrete, only then will I finally, without a doubt, conclude that…_

He looked up to see the princess had wandered off to the bed of flowers ahead of the table he was at. She was kneeled down, silently picking flowers while humming a familiar lullaby. With a sigh, he crumbled the piece of paper and walked over to her. "Oh don't worry about me, Link, I understand how much you yearn to be a scholar instead of a warrior…" _Ooookay, not what I was aiming for but that works…_ She continued to pluck away at the flower field whilst rocking back and forth to the tempo of the lullaby. Suddenly tears swelled up in her eyes. _Huh, what the…_ He gently nudged his cheek against hers as she slowly dropped the flowers and pushed him away. _Okay I get it, you didn't understand the paper, doesn't mean you have to-_

"What I mean to say is that I understand that you never wanted to save me in the first place!" He flinched upon hearing those words. She stood up and allowed more tears to trickle down her cheeks. "Listen, I understand what's going on; this whole thing was a set up so my father would have an excuse to get rid of me…In fact, he's always trying to marry me off to somebody. At first it was Prince's of surrounding kingdoms, but they refused to take my hand in marriage because I was a stereotype… I didn't even like those guys, they were absolute snobs! After my father failed to get rid of me the canon way, he held tournaments for knights to fight for my hand in marriage, and every knight that took me always ran away!" _Umm Farore…When I asked for that anthropomorphic wind of catastrophic terror I was aiming for the whole strike me down where I stand thing…_ "And so my father decided to put on this whole…_Thing…_Where I was to pretend I was kidnapped and my 'knight in shining armor' would rescue me but then that madman, Ganondorf, would end up killing everybody that appeared before him. And do you know why?" _I'm thinking it has something to do with that one buckcherry song…_ "Because somewhere along the way that freak had fallen in love with me, can you imagine me being with him? _Okay you may be weird but nobody deserves that, I admit. _"Finally after many years of searching for someone, I finally found the perfect man for me! Yes, he's quiet; yes, he's mighty; yes, he has a heart of gold, but I just cannot do this! If you do not love me then just leave!"

_Wow…I don't know if it's that time of the month or she's truly going through a total period of tribulation and mental break downs…_ "Link…I want to be left alone…" She turned her back and ran away from him. He stood there for a moment, contemplating whether he should run after her, or continue to stand there with the incessant look of dumbfounded astonishment on his face. Out of nowhere the crumbled piece of paper flew into his hand. He unraveled it to view his so-called "masterpiece". _Jeez Farore, you just have that uncanny ability to make a guy feel like crap. Why not just throw a huge sign at me that reads "Hero of Time is a world class sucker"?_ Suddenly he recalled the local Kakariko article he read upon taking her hand in marriage. He decided the best form of action was to slap himself while somehow holding himself in the highest respect possible…That appeared to be one of the hardest things he has ever done in his life…He looked down at his written work and gazed at it for what seemed like an eternity. Suddenly a thought hit him and he darted back to the wooden picnic table to continue writing. After he finished writing he jumped up in excitement and scanned the area for her. She was nowhere to be found so he began searching the entire resort.

He poked his head in the bar. _Perhaps she became depressed and attempted to get drunk off of milk…Again…_ He scanned the area and was slightly creeped out that everybody in the bar had somehow gotten plastered off of milk, and now found themselves passed out all over the bar. _What in the name of the one goddess that listens to me did that bartender put in the milk? _After searching the bar, he heard a slight snicker. He turned his head to see the bartender counting a huge bag of rupees. He looked up and flinched upon seeing him. "Whoa dude, you scared me!"

He raised a perplexed eyebrow as he found himself unable to look away from the awfully familiar bag. The bartender sighed as he raised his hands in the air. "Alright, you got me…I slipped some stuff in their milk and waited for the big guy to pass out so I could take his money, alright?" He dropped the bag and propped his head atop the counter. "Look man, I have a lot of issues…At first I was jealous that he had come across all that money, but the more he talked about it, the more I grew angry and I felt he didn't deserve it, so are you going to apprehend me or not?" For the first time in his life, he had to resist the temptation of laughing harder than anybody in the world. He extended his arm to pat the man on the back before making his way out of the bar.

He grew tempted to look everywhere, but then he suddenly had an idea as to where she might be. He quickly made his way back to his room, where she sat silently on top of the bed. She looked up at him and shook her head. "Don't Link, there's no point in trying to explain, I know how you feel." He shushed her by violently thrusting the crumbled paper into her hands, which he realized was the absolute wrong thing to do. Little did he know, the princess had actually indeed been trained as a ninja, and when confronted by the violent onslaught of a balled up essay pertaining to philosophical values, she instinctively let loose a couple of philosophical values of her own. In a blink of an eye he found himself pressed hard on the floor, staring coldly into the eyes of his million dollar court order. That would generally be the case had he not been mesmerized by her surprising strength and swift agility. _So THAT explains the disappearance of all those men…_ She stood up and sat back on the bed, muttering a small "Sorry…"

He winced in pain as he grabbed the back of his head. _I've heard multiple speculations revolved around this psychotic woman, but I never thought it was all because of a bunch of men who couldn't handle a little wrestling…Wait a second… _"Are you okay?" He nodded as he stood up to pop his back. "You know, I'm quite surprised you didn't see that coming, nor that I'd be able to beat you so easily…" _Well excuse me for not being a ninja…_

She sighed as she resisted the temptation to laugh. He knew from the look in her eyes she wanted to do that for quite a while. _You know…I've always thought everybody was making fun of me because I married the dumbest woman in the world…But something tells me that's not the case. _It was a long shot, but he had been known for his infallible accuracy. He popped his knuckles as he prepared for another attack. She looked up and gasped. "Are you serious! Now of all time?" He grinned as he dived at her. She swiftly gripped his wrist and pulled him towards the bed. The force of his dive ended up propelling him further than expected as he found his face pressed against a wall. _Oh dear Nayru this woman is psychotic!_ He licked his lips, play time was over. "Link, stop it!"

He turned to her and noticed the expression of terror on her face. But for some reason her eyes did not wield terror, for a split second her eyes had flashed a cunning resilience to his impulsive behavior. _I know that look…It's a thirst for blood draped in seclusion…This woman has been sequestered by royal modesty and strict forms of proper manners…_ He flanked to the side and wrapped his arms around her waist to throw her on the bed. She pressed her arms against his chest and used her feet to propel him over the edge of the bed before jumping up in a defensive position. "Why are you doing this?" She screamed. It was true his sudden act of nihilism was beyond confounding, but the more he persisted, the longer he continued his outrageous assault, the more he enjoyed it. The answer became clear as he pinned his hands against hers in an attempt to knock her down. The devious look on her face enforced his certainty of the constrained beast yearning to be released. With every movement he made, she had somehow managed to reflect it back at him. He became less inclined to hold back as she swiftly molded from the ignorant blonde to what the king truly meant when he said she was a wild one. Their hands continued to clamp together like a magnetized force, but she suddenly spun in a circle, gracefully dodging his arms as she carefully guided his arms to become tangled. Suddenly thrown off balance, she pushed him onto the bed. _How long has she been holding this back?_ He recalled his well received warning from the king and realized it wasn't received well enough. He looked back on that day he opened the newspaper and read the article of him being a world class sucker. This whole time he realized it wasn't because of her stupidity, but of all the men that had taken her hand, not one was able to keep up with her. It suddenly became clear as to why the kidnapping was a set up, and why Ganondorf had been wretched to those who went out to save her. Of course he wasn't willing to throw away the possibility of a madman lusting for power. _This girl most likely beat the crap out of all those men…_ After he had finally managed to pin her down once and for all, he began thinking about it and decided that assaulting his wife was probably not the sexiest thing in the world. _Perhaps I should stop now…_

"Link…" She was breathless. Now finding herself pinned against the bed, she conceded and declared him the victor. "Alright Link…You won…" She continued to breathe deeply, trying to catch her breath. "Now…Would you kindly explain why you did this to me?" Unfortunately for her, explanations weren't his strong point. That required speech. He slowly stood up and held his hand out to help her up. She sat up and knocked his hand away. "Jeez…That's the first time anybody's pinned me like that…" A smile crept on her face as she reached over to wipe the sweat off her forehead. "Of course, I suppose you didn't wander in here for the sole purpose of beating me up…" _You'd like to think that…_

He shook his head as he reached down on the floor to hand her the crumbled piece of paper. _Try not to cut my throat, this time._ She sighed as she opened it up. "I know, it's your masterpiece…" She didn't sound too thrilled to see it once again. "I don't know if anybody told you this but when you write like that, nobody understands a word you're saying." He slapped his forehead as he continued to nudge the paper. "You really need to work on that strong, silent type personality…" _OKAY SCREW THE DAMN GODDESSES! WHO EVER'S OUT THERE, MAKE HER READ THE STUPID PAPER! _"Oh fine…If you want me to finish reading this, then I guess I can indulge one last request before I move back to my father's castle."

Her eyes scanned the paper as her expression of contempt slowly flourished to shock and bewilderment. After reading the rest of the paper, she allowed her hands to relax, not even paying attention to the fact she dropped it. Looking up at him, her eyes welled up once more. "Link…Do…Do you really mean it?" _Only if you promise to put up a better fight next time._ "I mean Link…What made you suddenly change?" _A swift kick in the ass by that sexist bitch, Farore…_

He smiled and held out his arms. She slowly stood up, allowing the tears to trickle down her cheeks. "Link…I just…Don't know…" His mind began to race. He knew very well about the denial aspects she would go through during times of incertitude. _Okay that's it, time to incorporate that irresistible guy's only technique that makes for the most clichéd ending for any argument between a man and his loved one…_ He wrapped his arms around her and leaned his head over her shoulder. _Yes I know, I'm supposed to kiss her, but I'm no entirely sure if that's safe. You gotta be carefully with ninjas, ya know. _She paused as she slowly wrapped her arms around his. Her head leaned in to rest atop his shoulder. He felt a warm, gentle feeling within him. When he first took her hand in marriage, he was infatuated with the idea he married Hyule's "most desired", and while her beauty meant nothing, he somehow figured he could make it work. He realized at that moment how wrong he was to ever think such thoughts. The two stood still in the completely destroyed room, continuously embracing each other. The thought never occurred to him that the reason the room was destroyed was not because of the wrestling match, but because apparently the cat wasn't exactly dead, it just had a panic attack.

"You know Link…I believe I've found my Triforce…" She smiled as she leaned her forehead against his. _Oh come on! Not that crap again! _"It's right here…" She lifted her hand and placed it over his, where the Triforce of Courage had suddenly lit up. _Whoa, whoa, whoa, I believe that piece of the Triforce is mine! You know, to commemorate my bravery? You know, courage, the reason I'm still here? Believe me If I lacked it I wouldn't dare come a mile close to you!_ "I don't think you understood what I meant…When I ran into the room proclaiming that I lost my Triforce, I was referring to you…Every time you act out in bravery, every time you show your true feelings, that Triforce on the back of your hand lights up. The last time I saw it radiating such a passionate glow was on the day of our wedding. I don't know what happened but for some reason you changed. You no longer became the man I fell in love with, somehow you've turned into some conceited villain who did nothing but hold me in contempt…You may not talk a lot, but I could clearly see it in your eyes. For the duration of the month we've been here, the Triforce had faded almost to the point of completely disappearing, and I knew that you no longer loved me…" Those heavy set words crushed him. He never realized that all along she had known he was miserable, and that she had been trying to make him happy. He knew from the bottom of his heart had he been a talking man, he would be rendered speechless. It had never occurred to him that she had been aware all this time, and that he was only fooling himself. The dejection of those words made it almost impossible to even glance into her eyes. For the first time ever he felt he was completely worthless. "But now that I see that radiating glow…I know now that something had changed in you…I didn't believe it when you showed me this paper, but now I know that you meant every word of it…"

He looked at the crumbled piece of paper she dropped. He had labeled it his masterpiece out of sheer ignorance. He thought himself a fool for realizing that the true masterpiece was clasping his hands as she spoke. He reached down and picked it up to glance one last time at his masterpiece.

_In order to compose faultless logic and truly structuralize rationality, the disposition of such measures must ultimately lead to the distinction between abstract and concrete, only then will I finally, without a doubt, conclude that every plausible conditional, no matter how rational, is ordained to severe scrutiny under the exposition of a flawed dissertation. Reason being is no matter how infallible and refined the conjecture; it still remains a conjecture nonetheless, therefore ultimately impending towards a moot point. Now refer back to my previous examples above, but this time "A" represents me, and "B" represents you. If I were to choose me; therefore not you, I would not only affirm, but appeal to a preposterous disjunctive nightmare to ever believe such a fallacy could ever work. If I were to ever choose me, then you; therefore you, then me, no matter the situation the premise was bound by self indulgence. Finally, if I were to claim that the answer is not me; therefore not you, then it would instantly revert back to the formal statement of self indulged continuity._

_The worst part of it all is that within the month we've been together, I have successfully committed all three of those fallacies. I swore to break down the chambers of logic, and destroy the fallacy of our nature, but in the end, I had become the fallacy itself. It was a fallacy righteously titled "Style over Substance". I have embellished my contempt, prospered by the words of others, and deluded myself into putting stock in the manner of things, as opposed to what was truly important: The material. I held my style above your substance because my substance remained in the style of the way things were. Every time I scorned you, every time I showed you disrespect, you only returned it with kindness. Every time I deluded myself to the point of desolation, you were there to pick me up. I denied myself in favor of status and nothing more. But I've now come to realize how lovely your actions were, I've come to cherish your quaint personality, but most of all: I've come to realize my reflection of you was merely wan. I have facilitated my hate with murderous thoughts, but now you're in my life, and I know without you, I'm incomplete. Everything I am is in accordance with you. With that being said, I have truly, without a doubt, concluded that my style is your substance._

Her eyes shut as she dug her head into his chest. He had suddenly felt warm as he gently cradled her. He dropped the now worthless essay and embraced her once more. This time, he knew how he felt; this time, he knew without a doubt his journey had truly begun.


End file.
